In our lives as social beings and as individuals themselves would have a problem . Because life without problems is not real life and it's just wonderful when a problem or conflict that happens , we always take the load and not just a few people who think even a narrow defeat by the problem itself , and even decided to end the life . We know that communication is a key determinant of quality of their relationships with those around us . That's because they , when conflict occurs , we must still consider how we communicate that conflict or quarrel was not dilated and could be overcome . However , often times people are just wrong to take a stand so that the conflict can be resolved even open it give rise to a new problem to the split . Here I summarize some wrong attitude in dealing with conflict is to avoid conflict , self-defense or self-closing , on an average , would like to be true , would not listen , and want to blame the defeat .
First , to avoid conflicts . When the conflict instead we talk about it calmly , we just keep quiet . However , the risk , because we are too long silence , then we precisely no longer hold back and the feeling of finally exploded . And the impact is much more dire . Remember to avoid conflict can actually make us depressed . Do not avoid let alone beg nothing , better to talk about issues well in order to avoid bigger problems .
Second , self-defense and self-closing . Instead of opening up, but rather self-defense . This is the wrong attitude of the latter . When we get defensive , we will tend to be stubborn and not want to look at the possibility of an error on our part as well . Similarly , even when other people want to talk about these issues , then we reject it and build a wall or pretend to say " it's okay ... " . Despite the fact that we still keep anger . In the short term this attitude may be beneficial to us because they we do not have to confront the problem . Nevertheless , it can actually bring a long-term problem because both parties feel pressured and also unresolved conflict .
Third , in general . Said on an average , for example : " you always . .. . " Or " you never .... " . In fact , the fact that such sentences are often just exaggerated . He may not always wrong and never right rather than as alleged . Happened , words like this in addition would hurt those who hear will also make he tried to defend himself and he fell into the error number 2 mentioned above . Therefore avoid the words of this kind.
Fourth , want to be true . Truth have benchmark ( the word of God , the facts , the applicable laws and others) . However , often that makes quarrels are the things that are relatively or equally true , according to each party . Instead of seeking to be true , humble attitude is much more needed to resolve the conflict . Do not demand other people see the same way , but learn to see from his perspective , and do not be offended if he had a different opinion of your premises .
Fifth , do not want to listen . God gave us two ears and one mouth so that we listen more . So listen first and do not assume , prejudiced attitude , or do not need an explanation in the face of conflict . How do we understand their points of view if we just do not want to listen to his explanation first. Likewise , he could not understand how our field if it does not want to listen to it and just want to be heard . Therefore hidarilah siakap this bleak moment the conflict because they will conflict increasingly wide spread and if it happens .
Sixth , to blame . Sometimes people dealing with conflict by criticizing or blaming others for the situation. There may be weaknesses in his perspective and he's aware of it , but he did not want to admit because he considers it would weaken his position . In fact , the real conflict is also a bus into an opportunity to assess the situation and determine the needs of both parties or later seek win- win solutions . As long as you can be calm and open in the face , then the conflict could be a turning point for reaching a deal .
Seventh , want to blame the defeat . When we try to " win" the debate , often it can make us " beat " relationship . If we still want to establish a good relationship with someone , then when the debate occurs , remove the desire to make him lose or cornered . It was no use . The core of a debate ( or rather discussion ) is to understand each other and find a solution that respects the needs of both parties . So if we just focus on " winning " the debate , we can not expect our relationship will remain fine . Have empathy because just like us , every single person wants to be appreciated and listened to.
That's the wrong attitude or seven mistakes in dealing with conflict in our lives . Therefore we should avoid such mistakes to avoid conflict , self-defense or self-closing , on an average , would like to be true , would not listen , and want to blame the defeat to resolve conflicts that we face . So that when a conflict occurs will not be a burden to us , but we can think positively by making reference to the conflict is personal stone is more mature and better . Positive thinking and calm in dealing with conflicts led is a good way to solve the problems we face with such good communication and quality will be established as well . Hopefully this essay can help us become a more personally think adults in facing the problems of life in this world .
ERRORS IN COPING WITH CONFLICT
A. Humans as social beings and the individual must have a problem
B. Communication is the key determinant of quality of their relationships with those around us
C. Wrong attitude in dealing with conflict
II . BODY
A. avoid conflicts
1 . stillness and silence for too long risks
2 . avoid conflicts make us depressed
3 . avoid conflicts and consider nothing will cause even greater problems .
B. Self-defense and self-closing
1 . defensive makes us stubborn and do not want to see their own mistakes
2 . refusal and build their own walls when storing anger
3 . attitude of the short and long term
C. In general
avoid words like "you always . .. . " Or " you never .... "
D. Want to be true
1 . the truth is no benchmark
2 . considers himself completely resolve conflicts
3 . see the conflict from the point of view of others and appreciate
F. Do not want to listen
listen to others' opinions first and do not assume
G. Want to beat
1 . blame others for what happened
2 . weaken the position of
3 . win-win solutions
H. Want to blame the defeat
1 . " win " and " defeat "
2 . empathy
III . CONCLUSION
1 . Avoid the mistakes that have been mentioned will help resolve conflicts that we face
2 . Positive thinking by making or conflict problem as a personal reference rock better .
3 . Positive thinking will establish good communication and quality